Gaslighting 101: What it is and How to Recognize it

“Maybe I’m overreacting.”

“I must be remembering it wrong.”

“Was it really that bad?”

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking these thoughts after a conversation — especially with someone close to you — you might have experienced gaslighting.

Gaslighting isn’t just a buzzword. It’s one of the most dangerous forms of emotional manipulation because it makes you question the one thing you must be able to trust: your own mind.

Let’s break it down.

💡 What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a psychological tactic used to distort your perception of reality. It's designed to make you doubt your memory, your instincts, and even your sanity — so the manipulator can gain control.

It doesn’t happen all at once. It’s a slow, subtle erosion of confidence in yourself. And by the time you start to notice it, the damage may already feel deeply personal.

🎭 Common Gaslighting Phrases

Here’s what gaslighting sounds like in everyday conversations:

• “That never happened.”

• “You’re being too sensitive.”

• “You always exaggerate things.”

• “You’re remembering it wrong.”

• “You’re crazy — everyone else agrees.”

• “I was just joking. You take everything too seriously.”

• “You made me do it.”

👀 See the pattern? Gaslighting isn't just denial — it's a full rewrite of reality where you’re always at fault.

🚨 5 Signs You're Being Gaslit

1. You Constantly Second-Guess Yourself

You start questioning everything — from your memory to your reactions. You walk on eggshells trying to avoid conflict.

2. You Apologize All the Time

Even when it’s not your fault, you say “I’m sorry” to keep the peace. It feels safer than trying to explain.

3. You Feel Confused or "Off" After Interactions

You can’t put your finger on it, but after conversations with a certain person, you always feel a little less confident and a little more unsure.

4. You Defend the Manipulator to Others

You make excuses for them: “They’re just stressed.” “They don’t mean to act like that.” You normalize the abuse to protect them — or yourself.

5. You No Longer Trust Your Emotions

You start to believe you're too much, too emotional, or too dramatic — because that’s what they keep telling you.

🛡️ How to Break Free from Gaslighting

1. Start Documenting the Truth

   
   

   Write things down. Keep a private record of conversations and events. Gaslighting loses power when facts are documented.

2. Validate Your Own Emotions

   
   

   Your feelings are real. If something feels off, trust that instinct. You don’t need anyone’s permission to feel what you feel.

3. Set Firm Boundaries

   
   

   You can end a conversation. You can walk away. You can protect your peace without needing to justify it.

4. Talk to Someone You Trust

   
   

   Gaslighters thrive in isolation. Share what you’re experiencing with someone objective — a friend, therapist, or coach.

5. Consider Going No Contact

   
   

   In cases of repeated manipulation, especially from narcissists, cutting off access to you may be the most powerful and healing move you can make.

✨ Final Truth

Gaslighting is not your fault — but recognizing it is your responsibility.

You are not crazy. You’re not weak. You’re waking up.

And once you see gaslighting clearly, you can never unsee it.